{"product_id":"slow-the-fuck-down-patch","title":"Easy Does It Tortoise Patch","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"Easy Does It\" Tortoise Patch\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e200 years old and never once in a hurry. Respect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eStick him on your bag, jacket, or hat and let him do the reminding. At 4\" x 3.75\" this little guy makes a big statement — bold, funny, and just distinctive enough to start a conversation. Slow down. Easy does it. The tortoise knows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4\" x 3.75\" embroidered fabric appliqué patch.\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\u003cem\u003e⚠️ Heads up — our tortoise has a bit of a mouth on him. Adult language, worn best by adults who get it.\u003c\/em\u003e 😄\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Real Fun, Wow!","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45043207503906,"sku":null,"price":8.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0808\/5366\/3778\/files\/Untitled_design_039d51ba-3d57-4220-b5aa-2dcef54c359d.png?v=1777831154","url":"https:\/\/shopremedycollective.com\/products\/slow-the-fuck-down-patch","provider":"The Remedy Collective","version":"1.0","type":"link"}